I Am Sorry That I Suck At Keeping In Touch

group of friends keeping in touch
God & Man

I don’t want you to think that just because it’s been a few months since I’ve seen you (or have even spoken to you) that I don’t care about you — because that’s not true at all. I value your friendship. I value the memories we’ve shared in the past and I hope to create more in the future.

But the problem is that I’m busy as hell. I have a million things to do. I have so much stress in my life.

I know that people say if you care about someone, you’ll make time for them, but that’s close to impossible when I have a career that takes up the majority of my time. I’m lucky if I can arrange to see one of my friends during a free weekend, let alone every single friend that I miss.

I’m sorry that I suck at keeping in touch. I’m sorry that I don’t text you nearly as much as I should. I’m sorry that I’m not as updated on your life as I used to be when we were younger and saw each other in the halls every single day.

I’m sorry that, sometimes, the only way we communicate is by liking each other’s posts and pictures. I’m sorry that, sometimes, the only way I know what you’ve been doing is by looking at your social media.

I’m sorry that it’s been so long since we’ve had a heart-to-heart talk. I’m sorry that I suck at showing how much I care about our friendship. I’m sorry that I don’t tell you how much I love you nearly enough.

But, in my mind, it doesn’t matter how much time we spend apart. I still consider you one of my closest friends. I still love you with every part of my heart.

I want you to know that, even though we spend large gaps of time away from each other, I’ll always be there for you when you need me. If you call me at midnight with a problem, I’ll answer. If you text me to pick you up when your car breaks down, I’ll be there. If you ask me to come over to help you through a breakup or the loss of a job, I’ll rearrange my schedule to see you. I’ll drop everything.

If you need me, all you have to do is ask. And I know if I ever need you, you’ll do the same.

So please don’t think that I’ve abandoned you for newer friends. Don’t think that I have forgotten all about you. Don’t think that I’m purposely excluding you from my life.

You’re not the only one it’s been a while since I’ve seen. I haven’t seen most people in weeks, months, even years. I rarely get a chance to go out and relax.

I wish I could be a better friend. I wish I could drop by your house more often. I wish I had more spare time to text back and forth with you about the little things. But it’s so hard for me to find the time.

I just hope you realize how much I care about you. I hope you realize that it doesn’t matter how long we spend apart, because you will always be my friend. Always. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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