Often times we hold individuals other than ourselves accountable when life is not working out in our favor. When in reality, the individual responsible for your life being complicated is the one you look at in the mirror each day.

Whether you’re in a current state of denial that you are the reason your life is “difficult” or you are slowly beginning to realize now is the time to take action to make your life less complicated, here are 5 red flags that YOU are the reason your life is complicated and that YOU need to make some changes to your life ASAP.

1. You complain every day about how much you hate your job, but you continue to stay.

If when asked, “What is your favorite thing about your job?” & your answer is “My lunch break and leaving”, you should probably start looking elsewhere. So, you stay because you have bills. Well guess what, everyone has bills, unless of course you are under the age of 18 and still have the support of family, or over the age of 30 and still living in your parents basement free of charge. We spend most of our time at our jobs.

At least 8+ hours a day, 5 times per week, to be exact. Therefore, you must enjoy what you do. If you find yourself complaining day in and day out, do something about it. No one is FORCING you to stay at your miserable job. No one is actually “locking you up & throwing away the key”. By staying in a job that you hate, you’re the only one keeping yourself prisoner.

Do yourself a favor, edit your resume, perfect your resume, do some soul searching, and feed your hungry soul by applying to new positions that truly appeal to your passions.

Leave that miserable job and stop complaining.

2. Your list of “hobbies” only consists of going out to the bar several times a week.

From your mid-twenties on, you should by now begin to develop hobbies & interests. If the only thing you enjoy and have fun doing is drinking, your life is going to continue to be complicated. Alcohol is a depressant; it’s not meant to bring you up, although at times, it makes for some occasional great memories and hilarious stories to tell your friends.

Save the social drinking for the weekend and spend more time during the week finding out what you truly enjoy doing. Join a recreational sports team, read more books, pick up a cooking class, learn something NEW.

If you keep doing the same things that you’ve always done, you will keep getting the SAME results.

Get out of your comfort zone & discover new things. Only then will your life slowly start to change in a positive manner and become less complicated.

& Perhaps you will even stop meeting “significant others” while intoxicated at the bar, this is another complication that stems from your so called “hobby” of binge drinking.

3. You always try to please everyone and you’re always the YES MAN.

You say yes to things you do not want to do, which ultimately leads to you taking on more than you can handle at once. You often find yourself feeling bad saying the word NO. You get exhausted from the constant pleasing of others, news flash, YOUR FAULT! I cannot stress enough that the word NO should be used in your everyday vocabulary.

If you’re always the YES MAN, people will recognize the trait and use it to their advantage. You will always be the last one out of the office, the planner of all gatherings & the driver on all road trips. You will never have the opportunity to be the passenger who gets to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride of life!

Learn to say no when you do not want to participate in an activity, learn to say no when you have a pile of work up to your eyeballs, and mostly importantly learn to say NO for YOURSELF.

Mental health is key people, and stressing yourself out is only going to set your chakras off balance.

4. You seek constant approval on how to live your life based on the opinions of others.

If you never make decisions on your own and often find yourself asking others around you for opinions, this is another reason why you are the reason that your life is so complicated. If someone other than yourself is constantly telling you how to live your own life, it’s no longer YOUR life to be lived, it’s basically multiple people living on your behalf.

Life is about making the wrong decisions and learning from them.

If you cannot trust the one person who you should trust the most, why should you trust others to help guide your life in a direction that they believe to be the right direction for you? At the end of the day, you of all people should be able to know what the best decision is for you. Life is not supposed to always be easy, but you sure don’t need to make it any more complicated than it already is.

Opinions from others are great every now and then, just don’t ask too many people for their opinions because you will make decisions more complicated than they need to be.

5. You spend too much time with others, rather than spending time with yourself

Human nature is to seek affection and comfort. So, it’s no surprise that we navigate towards spending more time with others than we do alone. This however is unhealthy and the only person it hurts is YOURSELF. When you spend more time alone you will discover that it’s not so bad after all. You may even begin to enjoy spending more time on your own, than with anyone else for that matter.

Spending time alone allows you to think more deeply, connect to your mind, body & soul. When you truly understand yourself, your needs & your love language, connecting with the right people will come more natural. When you spend too much time with others, you focus so much on making a connection with someone else that your unable to connect with yourself.

Seeking constant comfort or connections will complicate actually forming true connections with anyone. If you always feel like you’re going to “die alone”, start by not forcing things to happen, let them fall into place accordingly.

Relationships & connections are two things that should never feel forced.

I could ramble on for hours as to why you are the reason that your life is so complicated, but I think #5 is a great place to stop. I hate to be negative Nancy, but if your friends/family/peers won’t tell you that YOU are your OWN worst enemy and the reason as to why you’re stuck in a rut, I’ll do it on their behalf.

I too was once in your position and the sole reason for my seemingly complicated life and wish someone would have provided me the same insight I’m providing you.

I once saw a quote that said:

“Life is a long complicated road, but not if you put an “S” in front of every mile”…

Smile. I know it’s hard sometimes when your life is “complicated”, but make more time to seriously smile and enjoy the beautiful mess we are all, because we are all in it together.

You might not see it now, but there are bigger fish to fry and only YOU can make your own life less complicated.