Not giving a fuck is one of the greatest skills in life you can learn.

There are many things in life that we do have to give a fuck about; the things that make us happy, the friends that matter, getting fit, working on our goals and dreams. However, there’s also an overwhelming amount of shit that we spend hours, days, even months, obsessing over. This isn’t good for our time, our life, or our mental health.

How much time do we waste doing things that are meaningless to us? And how much of our time do we spend caring about what people think of us?

Over the past months, I’ve been told negative things like these:

“Women with muscles, eww gross.”

“You look like a man.”

“You curse too much, that’s not ladylike.”

The old me would have curled up into a ball and let those things get to my head, but now I have become a master at the “art of not giving a fuck.”

I get so many negative comments like these and you know what that’s okay. Not only are these people wrong, they are part of the problem of this society, constantly judging and criticizing others. I was so concerned with what other people thought to the detriment of what I wanted, and I think that we as people just put way too much stock in other people’s opinions.

But it doesn’t matter what you do, you have no control over what other people ultimately think of you. But you have the control on how you react to it.

By giving a fuck on what others think, you will live your life enslaved and this is completely self-destructive. These thoughts just fill up your head and distance you from the life that’s still unfolding in front of you. They’re not leading to any important decisions or insights, they’re just taking over your present moment, and shortening your life.

The world is constantly telling you that everything you are not is what makes you happy We’re so wrapped up in social media, and having the latest fashion items, and what people we hardly know think about us, or if our work is good enough, that these things are always just gnawing away at us. It often leads to stress. And stress builds up and then this leads to mental health issues. Giving a fuck about everything the world wants you to have makes you more miserable about what you are not or don’t have.

If you are too busy giving a fuck about so many things around you, you’ve practically stopped living. The more you desperately want to be like someone else, the more unworthy you feel. The more you desperately want to be happier, the lonelier you become, the more you try to live to expectations of others, the more miserable you feel.

When I stopped giving a fuck about nonsense and things I couldn’t control and started giving a fuck more about things that matter, I realized that I have more time and energy to dedicate it to the things and people in my life that I do care about.

Happiness and living life to the fullest come from knowing what to care about–and most importantly, what not to care about.

When you stop giving a damn about what people think, your self-confidence will increase. You’ll start to believe in yourself and what you can offer the world, without letting outside influences stop you or sway your decisions.

Not giving a shit sounds like apathy, but it’s not.

Not giving a damn does not make you an “asshole.”

Not giving a fudge is not being selfish nor being a mean person, but in reality, you are just looking out for YOU, which we’ve been told as a society is selfish and that selfishness is a terrible thing.

Not giving a fuck actually puts you in a healthier frame of mind and makes you a better person to be around.

It will free you enormously in terms of feeling calm, and that makes you a better person, it makes you a more pleasant friend, it makes you a more attentive parent, and it makes you a more genial co-worker.

Not giving a fuck it’s simply a refusal to waste your energy and time on negative thoughts.

The key to the good life you really need is giving a damn about what’s important to your growth, career and total well-being.