Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Everyone secretly hates you because you’re so dramatic and have such an awful temper. You’re never calm and god forbid anyone tells you to calm down because we all know how that’ll turn out. Something going slightly wrong doesn’t mean the world is going to end.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Everyone secretly hates you because you’re secretly petty and jealous of everything. It doesn’t even matter what it is, your friends could have gotten ice cream without you and you’d still be jealous and secretly mad at them because they didn’t invite you. You think you’re being discreet but you’re not, everyone can tell.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Everyone secretly hates you because you’re so indecisive that it’s insanely annoying and also why everyone hates making plans with you! It’s also annoying to hear how much better you think you are than everyone because you “don’t follow the crowd” and you “do your own thing.” Look, that’s awesome for you that you’re so ~independent~ but no one cares, tbh.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Everyone secretly hates you because you turn everything into an emotional shit show. Please, if you could just make it through one day without spewing your emotions onto everyone when you’re hanging out that would be awesome. We get it, you’re super intuitive and don’t know how to handle your emotions but do everyone a favor and figure out how to tap into those feelings before people lose their minds!

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Everyone secretly hates you because you want to control everything!!! Just because something isn’t your way doesn’t mean it’s wrong you control freak.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Everyone secretly hates you because you worry about everything and in turn you push your worries onto everyone else. Things could be fine but you open your big mouth and then start to make everyone else feel paranoid for no reason.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Everyone secretly hates you because you are the definition of clingy. Please stop searching for validation from everyone else, it’s exhausting enough always trying to come up with excuses to avoid you but it’s even more exhausting trying to feed your ego. Learn how to be your own person.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Everyone secretly hates you because you never know when to bite your tongue. We get it, you’re brutally honest but sometimes you just need to keep your mouth shut and stop being such an asshole. You have no compassion and you tend to come off as a negative prick.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Everyone secretly hates you because you can’t do anything for yourself. You always need someone there to hold your hand. We get it, support is nice and all but come on, sometimes you just need to figure things out for yourself.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Everyone secretly hates you because you can’t let anything go. You hold grudges, you never forgive people, you’re still talking about what someone said to you in middle school. People generally don’t want to be around you because you’re kind of horrible and a buzzkill.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Everyone secretly hates you because you’re obsessed with yourself and you’re constantly feeding your own ego. Being independent is awesome but please do everyone a favor and stop talking about how great you are for doing shit on your own, it drives everyone crazy.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Everyone secretly hates you because no matter how hard they try they’ll never get to know the real you. You keep making them dig and dig without giving them anything, and it’s exhausting that’s why people just walk away. Opening up to people won’t kill you.