It’s that time of year again: Christmas lights are twinkling at every corner, pictures of holiday decor are taking over social media profiles, and every radio station is playing the latest celebrity Christmas album.

But sometimes, our holiday season starts with heartbreak and loss. And, it ends up not feeling very magical at all.

So, if you’re experiencing a huge loss this year, I want you to know that it’s okay if you don’t feel that same holiday spirit. You don’t have to force it or feel guilty about it.

You may need time to step back and make sense of the mess that has been your world lately. You may need this holiday to be a time of quiet reflection and healing.

But, while you’re healing, don’t forget that your friends and family are there for you to lean on.

Hardship doesn’t stop for the holidays. So, please don’t ever feel guilty for the pain you are experiencing. And, please don’t ever let yourself refrain from asking for help because you’re afraid of being a burden. Your friends and family love you, and they want to be there for you through whatever it is that has stolen your glow this season.

Remember that struggling doesn’t make you any less strong.

Even on your weakest days, you are adapting and you are fighting. There is nothing stronger than that. And, the pain may feel overwhelming now, but it WILL get better. Never lose sight of that.

And, while the holidays as a whole may not feel so happy, watch out for the little glimmers of hope.

 Whether it be kind words from a loved one or the kind of hug that melts away the stress of a thousand awful days. Or maybe it’ll be a much-needed mental health day or a book that has found a way to put your feelings into words for the first time.

Don’t be afraid to grab hold of those little moments and cherish them.

Cherish any moment that you are able to experience laughter, love, and togetherness. Cherish any moment that you realize what is important in life and what truly matters.

Because no matter what you’re going through, that right there is the true meaning of the holiday season. It’s hope in spite of all other circumstances. And, if you can hold onto those glimmers of hope this holiday in the midst of the chaos, you will have found the true light of the season after all.