When To Say What You Actually Feel

Jens Johnsson
Jens Johnsson

They say that to be honest to what you actually feel is the most wonderful thing you can ever give to yourself and to other people. They say that when you say what’s on your mind, say if you like somebody or hate as well, then you free yourself from regrets and possibilities that will never happen when you keep your mouth close and you just let things be unsaid.

But what if you’re honesty was construed as lie? What if your attempt at saying what you actually feel becomes dishonesty for the person you’ve said those words? Below are some situations where you ought to really say what you actually feel.

When you know you’ve sorted out your feelings already, you’ve considered the other person’s feelings too and you’ve understood the current situation and what has actually transpired.

Before you say anything else, think. Stop before responding. Pause before actually saying anything else. Words may just be a few percentage of how you express your feelings but words linger in a person’s mind, stick to people either like a drug or a poison and something that can either build you as a person or break you as well. You might say that they’re just words but they can affect you in ways you never imagine it would.

If you cannot be totally sure of what you feel, the least you can do is to stand true to what you said. Avoid recanting your words. Consider other people’s feelings. Before taking any action put yourself first in their situation. Think and act like them. If you feel like what they ought to do should be the one you think they should, then tell them about it. But if you tried putting yourself in their situation and your perception changed, maybe you have to think it through first analyze what actually happened.

Lastly, take time recalling what happened and how it happened. Try to understand why it happened instead of pointing fingers immediately. The best thing you can do in situations where there is argument is to provide benefit of the doubt to other person while understanding the consequence of what happened.

When your limitation was reached and you can’t bear it any longer. A famous quote says, “Patience is a virtue.” And while some say that patience is just a waste of time, patience develops in us that ability to be more conscientious and understanding of every situation, event and people, in general. It allows a person to comprehend more on what took place and not make any rash decisions.

There are people who are impatient, who want answers and actions right away. But sometimes, there’s a need to invest time for things that are intangible, things that are more valuable, things that money can’t buy, no matter cliché that line sounds. Taking action almost immediately is good, in fact it makes life easier.

However, situation call for that need to take our time slowly, especially on making decisions that are matters of the heart. But also remember that you have to set your limitation. You have to know when to say “Enough” because what happens for others is just the limits get extended several times, you lose your control over yourself eventually.

When you’re ready enough to face the consequence and accept it no matter what happens. When saying what you actually feel becomes detrimental to the future that you have envisioned for yourself, and if saying what you really feel becomes necessary and not just something that you would like to do because it would save you from some guilt that kept you occupied for some time already, then it becomes a need to actually say what you feel. Honesty requires courage, especially when it’s the matter of the heart.

So if you feel like you can already stand by for what you believe is true and real, let it out and stick to it. Everything will have their own consequence. Accept it. Embrace it. Some matters of the heart might be too painful, but you just have to face reality and move on with it.

Those are probably just few of the circumstances where there is that necessity of telling people what you actually feel. It’s good to be honest with your feelings. But because we’re humans, we are emotional and sometimes, unreasonable and irrational. With this, we have to pick the right time to admit, to confront and to arrive at a mutual decision.

It would not be easy but thinking about the things listed above, you might find yourself in an environment that fits each other perfectly and complements them the say too. It will be a challenge but it’s something that we all should ponder about and think thoroughly about.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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