10 People Give Their Opinions On Giving And Receiving Hickeys

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You’ve probably been there — the mood is right; you and your partner are getting hot and heavy; the kissing is going from lips, to cheek, maybe a pit-stop at the ear lobe, then the neck. In the distraction of the moment you don’t pay attention to how hard you may be kissing or are being kissed. When all breaks, one (or both) of you notice a reddish-purple mark plastered on your skin.

Hickeys are traditionally a “younger” person’s thing, but even then, people have different views on them. Some think it’s hot, some think it’s like being branded. I polled a few of my friends — guys and girls — in their 20s to get their opinions. If you haven’t already, I’d advise any and all relatives to click out of this article before things get weird. For the rest of you, in the sake of fairness, I’ll kick it off, then I’ll go in girl-guy order. None of these answers were shared with the other people, which makes some of the responses all the more interesting. Some names have been changed, at the person’s request.

Name: Mike
Age: 25
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? Yes.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? Since I don’t know how people are going to feel about them, literally or figuratively, I don’t leave one unless she asks. By that, I mean, unless she’s saying something to the effect of, “Harder,” when I’m kissing or lightly sucking her neck, I don’t. As for receiving, it depends. Regardless, I don’t want it showing anywhere that can be seen at work. I work with high school girls for Christ’s sake, so that’s probably not a good look. Secondly, if it’s my girlfriend, I honestly don’t really mind. If it’s a girl that I’m seeing somewhat consistently, I don’t mind all that much. If it’s a one-time or pseudo-random fling, I don’t want like them. I do feel that it’s like branding in a way, which, if taken, I don’t mind. I would never cheat, so if another girl happened to see it if my shirt adjusted the wrong way, I don’t mind. However, if I’m casually dating or something, don’t “mark your territory” on my body unless I ask, intentional or not.

Name: Danielle
Age: 20
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? Not since I was about 16 or 17, and they weren’t on purpose.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? I don’t like receiving them. I don’t feel it’s anyone else’s business about my sex life, and walking around with a hickey makes it seem like I want people to notice that I was fooling around with someone. I personally don’t find any particular pleasure in giving or receiving hickeys on purpose. Accidents happen, but purposely working towards a hickey is very high school (for lack of better terms).

Name: Myron
Age: 22
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? No.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? I don’t see the point in giving or receiving hickeys. There are better ways of showing your affection and/or marking your territory without a dark mark on your body, especially your neck. And I don’t like sucking on people’s skin.

Name: Heather
Age: 22
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? Yes.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? It’s easy for people to say that hickeys feel good, and I don’t disagree. To society, they look “sketchy,” or “gross,” or perhaps, some people think they look good. Regardless, it’s a completely personal preference. I won’t deny that they feel good, but I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t like the way they look. I wouldn’t like to show a hickey off, nor would I want other people seeing it on me. From a professional standpoint, I’m studying to be a teacher, and it’s quite obvious that a hickey is completely inappropriate in a classroom setting. With this being said, I know many people who couldn’t care less how they look to the outside world, but that’s just not me. As terrible as it sounds, it makes a statement about a person if you walk past them and see a hickey on their neck. I’m not one to judge, and I really don’t care what others choose to do, but personally, and in simple words, they feel good and look hideous.

Name: Patrick
Age: 20
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? Gave and received a hickey a week ago. Love giving it and like the feeling of receiving it, but the after appearance is awful.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? I like the feeling of giving and receiving hickeys, but I believe people will give hickeys almost like claiming territory.

Name: Rebecca
Age: 23
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? No.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? They’re very tacky. Even as a younger female (high school age), I always thought so. Nothing is “cute” or “cool” about giving or receiving one. People probably do it to “claim their throne.”

Name: Trez
Age: 22
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? No.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? My opinion is that giving and/or receiving a hickey was something we did as adolescents. I think, as we get older, the likelihood of it happening decreases. I did not enjoy giving or receiving them at all.

Name: Samantha
Age: 24
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? Ugh, no.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? I feel like hickeys are, in a way, trashy. I always feel like I just got branded when someone gives one to me. I don’t mind them if they are in places no one will ever see, but other than that, it’s a no. I don’t give them at all. I’d rather not give someone something I hate.

Name: Frank
Age: 24
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? No.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? It feels great when you’re getting one, and it starts out innocent enough; but when you take that first look in the mirror: Bruh… not good at all. It’s a chore to try and clean it up and look presentable.

Name: Cara
Age: 21
Have you ever given a hickey (within the last couple of years)? Yes.
What is your opinion on them (giving or receiving)? Honestly, sometimes I don’t mind them. It’s almost like a little trophy on my neck saying, “I got some”; but if you’re going to give me a baseball on my neck, then no thanks. As for giving them to others, I know a lot of guys are not into hickeys (at least in visible areas). I’m all about giving them in no visible areas. It’s a lot easier for girls to cover up hickeys, though, with scarfs and make-up, so I think that’s why girls don’t mind them as much as guys do. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Mike is a New York-based writer and admitted hopeless romantic. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. When he’s not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he’s working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist.

Tune into his podcast, “Heart Of The Matter” here.

Keep up with Mike on Instagram, Twitter and mikezacchio.com

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