50 (Totally Misguided) Things I Have Thought Would Make A Guy Like Me
1. Losing weight.
2. Being hotter in general.
3. Wearing “guy hot” clothes rather than “girl hot” clothes.
4. Smiling more.
5. Being more feminine.
6. Wearing my hair up like you like.
7. Not needing you.
8. Asking you to open something for me.
9. Knowing about sports.
10. Watching the same TV show as you.
11. Competing against you at something.
12. Being on your team.
13. Letting you get away with things.
14. Being chill.
15. Not texting you back right away.
16. Doing favors for you.
17. Having intellectually stimulating late-night conversations.
18. Being around you more.
19. Being around you less.
20. Not being vulnerable.
21. Being sweet.
22. Flirting with other guys around you so that you notice that you like me.
23. Listening to you explain things. Like video games. And the meaning of this album. And your app idea.
24. Drinking.
25. Smoking.
26. Talking about taboo topics that “most girls” don’t talk about.
27. Being one of the guys.
28. Having bigger boobs.
29. And a better ass.
30. Not being a comedian.
31. Showing the right amount of skin in an outfit.
32. Being different than other girls.
33. Being the same as other girls.
34. Not challenging people on any intellectual topics.
35. Putting up cool, adventurous photos on social media.
36. Eating when you offer me food, even if I don’t want it.
37. Agreeing with you on the big things.
38. Disagreeing with you on the little things.
39. Play fighting with you.
40. Not being too enthusiastic about you or us.
41. But for sure being enthusiastic and “up-for-anything” in general.
42. Not wanting a relationship.
43. Being low-maintenance.
44. Picking up your favorite snack when I’m out.
45. Running errands for you.
46. Liking a few “mainstream girl” things to be slightly and acceptably vulnerable.
47. Being against marriage.
48. Being really good with kids but never expressing a need to have them in the near future.
49. Sitting next to you.
50. Looking more like her.