I Cannot Save You, But I Am Not Afraid To Love You Anyway

By Bianca Sparacino,
Paolo Raeli
Paolo Raeli

If I could make it better, I would.

I would swallow the sun and kiss it straight into your mouth if it meant you’d feel warm again. I would bury green gardens deep inside your heart if it meant you would blossom there. I would pull myself apart, jagged bone and soft skin, if it meant I could find the right pieces to put you back together again.

I would, darling. I would. But I can’t. For I learned time and time again that human beings cannot be saved, or fixed, or grown by others — they can only be loved. So I will love you, and I will love you well.

I will love you on the days your laughter meets your eyes, and I will love you just as much when it does not. I will love you on the days you are made of light, and I will love you just as much when the world feels like a load you have to carry upon your shoulders. I will love you through your healing, and I will love you through your hurt. I will love you through your peace, and I will love you through your pain. I will love you when you love yourself, and I will love you when you do not.

I refuse to fall in love with the idea of who you can be if I were to nip and tuck and patch and sew you into someone else. If I were to throw a blanket over the baggage in your ribcage, only focusing on the prettiest parts of you. I refuse to love you in halves. So — show me where you thrive, and I will love you there. Show me where you break and I will love you there. Show me where you hope and I will love you there. Show me where you doubt and I will love you there. Show me where you hide, and I will love you there. Show me your open heart, flayed and beating in its decay and in its growth, and I will love it, darling.

I will love it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Bianca is the author of The Strength In Our Scars and A Gentle Reminder.

Keep up with Bianca on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and facebook.com

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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