Do men ever admit to women that they’re slightly crazy in the things that they expect out of women? Not really. I think that’s the way the game works though. Women don’t tell men about all the things they’ve got going on and we don’t tell them either. When it comes to expectations that each of us has on the other sex we have to admit they’re high. Most men want a woman who can leap tall buildings in a single bound, but will also submit to being regulated to the kitchen without socks or shoes. Let’s just admit that isn’t realistic.

If you’ve been following this week then you know that there are a ton of things I could write about that I’m not writing about so I’m going to turn this on the men for a second. And this is my short list of the five things that men expect of women that isn’t really all that realistic.

1. We want you to call us but not too much and if we don’t hear from you for a day or two we assume you’re no longer interested – No man likes to feel overwhelmed with the attention of a woman. We avoid stage 5 clingers like the plague but in reality we kind of like the fact that you’re into us. Ask a man how he feels about a woman who never ever hits him up, he’s fed up and ready to move. However, when we have a woman who will actually hit us up daily, we get mad.

2. We love TNA (tits-n-ass) which means you have to be healthy but we don’t want you to be fat; it’s a balancing act – I’ve long thought that it was very difficult for a woman to ever have the body type that a man would adore. It’s a balancing act that is almost impossible to meet. We want you to be phat, but not fat. We want you to be slim, but not skinny. I’m sorry but I’m a man and even that’s confusing to me.

3. We’d like if we could talk to you about everything, just not everything – It would make sense that you could talk to the woman you’re dating about everything from sports to sex, but in reality that’s not how it works. Men want to have those checks, balances and barriers. No matter how much a woman finds herself to be a guy’s type of girl, he still wants to be able to talk to his boys about certain things.

4. We truly believe that you can tell what’s wrong through telekinesis – Men live their lives to not complain and the ones who do are named Drake, or single. That doesn’t mean that we don’t feel the need to be angry or upset without saying anything. We’re passive aggressive at any chance we get. But men… we think that women can somehow sense a change in our mood and solve the entire problem.

5. We want you to take care of what you can take care of but we also want you to need us – I’ve got nothing on this… I think that women want to take care of what they can take care of, I think that men don’t want to feel like women are completely dependent on them, but when everyone is satisfied… men aren’t. Men won’t ever reach a point where we think that it’s okay to date a fully independent woman. Yeah, we’d like you to pay your phone bill but your ass better call us when a spider needs to be dealt with.

Consider it a holiday, we’re not going to attack women today!!! That’s a joke only because I know that people think that goes on around here often. Nonetheless, I’m interested to hear the thoughts of both sides. What are some expectations that men put on women that are unrealistic? I’m looking for responses from men and women.

In all things, have a great weekend and cheers.

Originally published at singleblackmale.org.